I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
