You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
