I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
