so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
