It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
