bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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