I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
