awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i dont even know how to be here
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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