When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
