Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
