Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
