You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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