scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
