so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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