why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
