You're completely useless in the revolution.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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