I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
