I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My ass is underappreciated
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
