Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
