My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
