make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
