i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
