My sheets look like a crime scene.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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