last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
