so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
