so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
