K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
