We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what day is it and did you see me today?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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