doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
