I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
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Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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