how do flat chested girls get laid?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He shit in the fireplace
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
