bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
