You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
