We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
