Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
