Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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