ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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