I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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