woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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