I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
time to smoke my breakfast
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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