She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
