Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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