Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
