I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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