Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
