Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
