she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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