He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
