Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
