non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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