I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
