I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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