Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
