everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
