My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
