I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
