I am puke
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
