What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
