you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
