Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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