grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dicks are not precious.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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