have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
