Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize