I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
